Newspapers and Spies
by starrysky7
Summary: The life and love of a newspaper heiress. Benjamin/OC
1. Chapter 1

_October 1777_

The first thing she had noticed about the head of intelligence were his eyes. A bright blue, which suggested a naivety that was in direct contrast with his job as a spy. He was pretty, with soft features, tall and lean. Though, there was a sharpness behind his eyes that betrayed a depth to him.

"Major Tallmadge, this is Miss Teresa Alcoff," Washington introduced, "Her father owns the largest newspaper in Albany. She's to stay here and act as a correspondent to report on the war."

"It's lovely to meet you Major," she said, holding out her hand towards him, which he lifted up to his mouth to press a kiss to her knuckles

"I look forward to reading your reports."

"Thank you." She nodded, smiling sweetly at him, taking back the hand which he was still holding, "Would you like to show me around the camp, Major?"

"Well, there isn't a whole lot to see," he replied, but held out his arm to her none the less, "But if you wish."

The major proceeded to take her outside, leading her around the camp, pointing out various parts and explaining them to her. In most conversations with men she had always nodded when necessary, smiled when appropriate, and feigned interest in whatever dull topic the man thought to impress her with. To them, her only purpose was to hang off their arm as a pretty ornament. Her and her sisters had always been the pick of the bunch due to their 'exotic' beauty. Tessa in particular, having inherited her mother's curly black hair, olive skin that juxtaposed greatly with her father's hazel eyes.

There had only been one man to truly peek her interest, and to pay an interest to her ideas in turn. Until now.

"You like horses?" She asked, causing him to frown in confusion, "Your eyes lit up when you mentioned horses, and you are the head of a calvary battalion." She explained, "I just put two and two together."

"Yes, I do like horses." He said, obviously impressed by her, "Do you, Miss Alcott?"

"Riding has always been a passion of mine." She said, "And please, call me Tessa."

"Isn't that a bit informal?" He asked, "I don't think propriety suggests a woman to allow a man she just met to call her by her first name." He noted, "And you seem to me to be a proper lady."

"Formalities are a woman's defence against unwanted advances," she replied, "Since that is not the case here, I would impress informality upon you if you wish to get to know me more."

"Then, I would like for you to call me Benjamin."

"Perhaps I will, or perhaps I won't." She shrugged, letting go of his arm, stepping away from him, "Thank you for the tour, Major."


	2. Chapter 2

_October 1777_

The camp had been rife with whispers of Washington's inadequacies as a leader. This, of course, was not something that which she would advise her father to include in his newspaper articles. And she had heard many accounts. Her gender resulted in soldiers rarely watching their words in her presence, thinking little of the possibility of her retaling such things to Washington himself.

Not that he seemed overtly preoccupied with these tales. The lovely Major on the other hand, was a different story. They had shared but a brief few moments together since they met, and each time she was further convinced of his astuteness. And he too impressed by her wit. Though it did, on occasion, seem to grate on his nerves.

"I heard you got into a fight," Tessa said, pushing the flaps of the tent open to step inside, "Major Tallmadge."

"And where did you hear that?"

"From people." She replied, folding her arms, "I heard that you were defending Washington. Is that true?"

"Yes." Benjamin confirmed, "Washington deserves our respect, these are lies against him."

"Technically they're true." Tessa pointed out, approaching him, "And a man of Washington's status cannot possibly expect to have complete support from all."

"I'm afraid I'm not entirely sure what your point is." He said, defensively, "Are you suggesting I should ignore these taunts?"

"Well, the Bible does tell us to turn the other cheek." She said, "And I heard your father was a reverend."

"And will you ever divulge the source of your apparently vast knowledge about me?"

"I suppose it would irk the head of intelligence, I bet you pride yourself on your vast knowledge on others." She said, ignoring the question, "I always find out as much as I can about those that spark my interest."

"And I've sparked your interest?"

Once again ignoring his question, she let go of her arms, reaching up her hand to press her thumb against his red cheek. He warily watched her, clearly confused by their interaction. But his instantaneous replies assured her that she had been right in her sizing up of him.

"At least Major Bradford didn't mark your face too badly." Tessa said, "That would've been a right shame, and I do hope he looks worse for wear."

"And why do you care?"

For the third time she ignored him. Leaning up to his face, she pressed a soft kiss on his cheek, chuffed when she saw his blush.

"That's the thank you Washington will never give you." She whispered, lifting her other hand to cup his face

"I wouldn't want that kind of thank you from Washington."

"Good." She replied, dropping her hands to her side, "I do hope that I will be seeing more of you, Benjamin."


	3. Chapter 3

_October 1777_

It was a cold night, and she was huddled close to the fire in the cabin she was residing in. Clutching a letter in her hand, she had read and re-read the words half a dozen times.

 _To My Dearest Tessa,_

 _I write to inform you of some infinitely good news, and to ask for your counsel as I so often do. I have been promoted to the rank of lieutenant colonel, as well as being asked by General Washington to serve as his aid-de-camp. As you know, I have turned down similar positions prior, and I seek your advice about how I should proceed._

 _I know that I have no right to ask such things of you. But even though you say you no longer reciprocate my feelings, it is my ardent wish that we continue our correspondence, even if it is without romantic intentions. I value our relationship, and you yourself, far too highly to be able to simply never speak again. All I desire now is your friendship._

 _With great fondness,_

 _Alexander Hamilton_

With their courtship ended, Tessa had not heard a word from her former suitor. She suspected it had been the result of his burned feelings towards her, but apparently rejection had done nothing to diminish his want of her. Which left her conflicted.

No doubt his mentioning of his promotion was an effort of his to prove his suitability. But despite all of his suspicions, status was still not the reason for her reluctance to continue their relationship. Instead, her reservations were wrought from his ambition and work ethic. They were admirable traits, but she feared their future impact if they were to wed. Alexander would never be satisfied, and she fretted over whether or not she would be enough to keep his attention. She didn't want to spend her life concerned about her ranking on her husband's priorities.

But neither was she ready to completely quit him. It would be a lie to claim she felt nothing for him, and she just hoped that time, distance and platonic correspondence would suppress such emotions.

A rapping at the door caused her to jump from shock, folding up the letter and placing it back on the bedside table. Grabbing her shawl, she wrapped it around her before opening the door.

"Major," she greeted, "What are doing here?"

"Ah, Washington asked me to deliver this to you," he explained, handing her a letter, "It details our victory at Saratoga, he wishes for you to print it."

"Of course, I will send it first thing tomorrow morning." She said, "It's frightfully cold out, would you like to come in?" She offered, and upon seeing the confliction on his face, added, "Just to warm up, I'm sure it can't be too warm in your tent."

"No, it really isn't," he agreed, stepping inside, "Though, I do admit, I find your overt pleasantness to me to be unusual." He said, "You usually aren't so courteous towards me."

"I am afraid I am unsure how to take that remark." She replied, frowning as she crossed her arms, "Was it intended as an insult, or a rather backhanded compliment?"

"A compliment." He said, his eyebrows raised at her frankness. She wondered why he was so surprised. They were in private, so there were no standards to be upheld. She could be honest, "I find your honesty to be refreshing, and your wit, admirable."

Her eyes flicked over him, appearing to be sizing him up, as she mulled over his words. It clearly unnerved him. Which was the exact point.

"You've, never pursued a woman romantically have you?" She asked, though there was little questioning in her tone

"And why do you assume that?"

"Because, men usually compliment a woman on her beauty, and other frivolities," Tessa said, "There hasn't really been an abundance of men who can match my scathing humour with their own, the fact that you can keep up is very impressive."

"Is that a compliment?" He asked, clearly enjoying their conversation as much as she was

"I'll let you ponder that." She shrugged, stepping closer to him, "But you haven't answered my question."

"No. I have not courted a woman with any seriousness." Benjamin replied, "Have you?"

"Generally woman aren't the ones who do the courting." Tessa said, "It might hurt men's sensibilities if we were aggressive in our pursuit of a marriage."

"You didn't answer my question."

All her bravado was lost in that moment, faced with the very real prospect of being forced to examine her own past. He seemed to sense that something was wrong, and was about to retract the statement. But she would not be made to seem so vulnerable.

"Yes. Once." She confirmed, "Is that an issue for you?"

"And why would that be an issue for me?"

"Well, you know men," she shrugged, "They don't like competition."

Immediately she regretted her words, especially when she watched realization cross his face, as the implications of her words sunk in. She had placed him on the same level as someone she had very seriously considered marrying. Now she was stuck, not wishing to offhandedly dismiss the comment for fear it would drive him away, but neither wishing to confirm for fear it would bring him too close too quickly.

All of this worrying had prevented her from noticing the fact that he had been inching closer. Now they stood almost chest to chest. Her eyes staring up into his.

In one quick movement, his hands came up to cup her face, bringing his face down to hers. Grabbing out his shirt, she deepened the kiss, causing it to become more desperate. Whatever he had planned, she doubted it involved backing her up against the wall, his lips moving down to her neck.

He seemed to realize this, and pulled away.

"I'm sorry, that," he stammered, "That wasn't proper."

"Not in the slightest." Tessa agreed, "But neither is being in my room, alone, at nighttime." She pointed out, "And right now, propriety can be damned."

But for the second time that night, her confidence waned, when she remembered the letter laying only a few feet away from her. Her mother had always counseled her to hold caution as her friend, and right now she needed to remember such lessons. Things with Benjamin could not progress further until she had completely figured him out, and evaluated every possibility.

"But it does need to be respected." She said, "Which is why you should probably go." She advised, not completely out of her own volition, "Wouldn't want to cause a scandal."

"Of course." He nodded, doing a decent job of masking his disappointment

Stepping away, he hesitated, before pressing a kiss to her forehead. It was chaste, and in complete contrast with the kiss they had just shared. But perhaps that was why it left such a lasting impression.

Once he had gone, she picked up the letter, still unsure about how to proceed. Her interactions with the Major only increased her confusion. It would most likely be considered wrong to write to a former suitor whilst being courted by another, but Benjamin had made no such statement of his intentions. Perhaps if he had, she would feel more inclined to completely cut herself off from her former beloved.

But as it were, he had done no such thing. Therefore, she felt no guilt in penning a short, and extremely platonic, reply. At least, that was what she told herself.

 _Dear Alexander,_

 _I know that it is your boundless ambition which is making your question accepting this position. And so, I counsel you to stop looking for future opportunities, and focus on what is in front of you. Glory is not all there is to life, and there is no doubt in my mind that you will rise in any position in which you are placed._

 _Sincerly,_

 _Teresa_

Only after she'd sent the letter off to be taken by courier the next morning, did she realize that him taking the position would mean they would be seeing each other more often.


	4. Chapter 4

_November 1777_

Benjamin had certainly peeked her interest, and she had peeked his in turn. Thus, she eagerly awaited the next time they would encounter one another. They lived not too far away from each other, and it was only a matter of time.

Turned out that this time was relatively short, when they bumped into each other outside of Washington's office. Greeting each other, they fell into step as they exited the house.

"So, tell me about yourself," Benjamin requested, "You seem to know plenty about me, but I know nothing about you."

"Alright. My father's name is Richard, he's a wealthy landowner, the newspaper being more of a passion than anything. My mother's name is Maria, she's Spanish." Tessa said, "They met when my father went to Spain to organize a trade agreement for business on his father's behalf."

"Went to Spain for trade and came back with a wife." He said, "Lucky man."

"Yes. Well, I have two older siblings, Antonio and Catalina, both of whom are married with children." Tessa continued, "I have a younger sister, Rosana, who constantly writes to me of how bored she is now that I am gone."

"Yes, you do make life more interesting." He chuckled,

"I'll take that as a compliment." Tessa replied, "I grew up near the Schuyler family, and my sisters and I are close to their eldest girls." She said, "Rosie and I were the ones that helped Angelica elope. Much to our parents chagrin."

"Why did she have to elope?" He asked, "Did her parents not approve of her suitor?"

"John's a British businessman, and her father was suspicious of his allegiances." She explained, "But he is a good man, and very much on our side." She assured him, "Of course, our parents took the opportunity to warn us against such foolishness."

"I take it you won't be running off with a scoundrel, then?" He teased

"Well, parents don't always know best," Tessa countered, "And if find a man that I truly love, that my parents do not approve of, then I cannot guarantee anything."

"So, you're a romantic at heart?"

"You could say that." She said, "What about?" She asked, "Despite what you think, I really don't know that much about you."

"Well, my father's name is Nathaniel, and as you know, he was the Reverend in Setauket." Benjamin said, "My mother's name was Susannah, and my older brother's name was Samuel."

"Was?"

"My mother died when I was young," he explained, "And my brother died on the prisoner ship HMS Jersey."

"I'm, I'm so sorry." Tessa said, "That, I didn't know."

"So you really don't know everything." Benjamin said, "And here I was under the impression you were all knowing."

It was clearly still a sore topic, and as much as she wanted to press him for further details, she knew better. Grief was a complicated thing. Not that she'd felt an abundance of it. She had been blessed with a life of relatively little loss.

"And what about your friends?" Tessa asked, "You do have friends, do you not?"

"Yes, I had three close friends growing up." He said, "Caleb Brewster, Anna Strong, and Abraham Woodhull."

"And where are they now?"

"Caleb is a lieutenant here in camp," Benjamin said, "Anna and Abraham are back in Setauket."

"I know that this, may sound like a silly question," Tessa said, sheepishly avoiding his eyes, "But where exactly is Setauket?"

"Long Island." Benjamin answered, chuckling at her, "It is a rather small town. Not as grand, I'm sure, as Albany."

"I'm sure it's quite lovely." Tessa said, "But Long Island, that's under British control is it not?" She asked, though she already knew, "What of your friends?"

"They are on our side."

"That must be dangerous." She said, "And it must be hard for you, unable to go home."

"Well, my father's no longer there," he revealed, "He was to be hanged as a Patriot, Caleb and I rescued him, ignoring orders to do so."

"I was always taught that family was of the upmost importance." Tessa said, "I know that I would do anything for my family. And, I find what you did to be very admirable."

Benjamin smiled brightly at her words, comforted by her acceptance of his rule-breaking. Never had she been one to consistently respect the rules, and a little bending never hurt anyone. There had always been a rebellious streak in her, and she admired such a thing in others.

"Hey, Tallboy." A voice shouted out

Looking up, she saw a man to be approaching them. He was relatively short, dark haired, with a thick beard. And he looked to be very amused.

"I'll take this to be the lovely lady you haven't stopped talking about." The man said as he neared them, "Lieutenant Brewster, miss."

"So you're Caleb?"

"I see you've heard about me then," Caleb replied, cocking his eyebrows at Benjamin

"Not really." Tessa said, not one to be outdone, "As such, I'd say your fame proceeds you, but it obviously does not, so,"

"Oh, I like you." Caleb responded,

"Did you need something?" Benjamin asked, shaking his head at his friend, "Or did you just come here to gawk?"

"Mostly to gawk," Caleb admitted, "But also to tell you that I have a message for you from Culper."

The looks on both their faces, and sideward a glances in her direction, made it evident that this was business which she was not allowed to know. Thus, she could certainly guess what it was in regards to, though not the exact details.

"Is this something to do with your intelligence gathering?" Tessa asked, causing the men to raise their eyebrows, and her to cross her arms in annoyance at their doubting of her, "I know you're the head of intelligence, you told me Caleb is a childhood friend, who better to trust with such activities." She explained, "Culper, I'm assuming, is the source of your information. Though that is most likely an alias to protect them."

Both men stared at her, jaws agape, shocked by her deductions. Or maybe how quickly she had deduced their secret. Either way, it took much effort on her behalf to hide her feelings of being affronted. Caleb she'd only just met, but she had expected Benjamin to not be so surprised by her intelligence.

"You were right," Caleb said to his friend, "She really is something else."

"Most definitely." Benjamin agreed, turning back to her, "If you will excuse us,"

"Of course." She said, waving them away, "Go, do your job."


	5. Chapter 5

_November 1777_

Whispers continued to plague the camp, and Washington's lack of action continued to bring about the Major's ire. It was for this very reason that they were now arguing in Washington's office. Tessa knew she shouldn't be listening, but she had always possessed an innate need to know the business of others. Her mother had always warned her that curiosity killed the cat.

It was most unnatural to hear Washington raise his voice, and she could practically picture Benjamin's downtrodden expression. Quickly moving into the shadows when she heard footsteps nearing the door, she watched as Benjamin strode down the hallway. Even though she knew that Washington would not want to speak with anyone, she still felt the need to ignore his wants because she thought she knew better.

"General,"

"I suppose you overheard that," Washington said, "And what is your opinion on Major Tallmadge's actions?"

"Misguided, but out of genuine concern." Tessa replied, "You were right to reprimand him, but,"

"But you think I was too harsh?"

"I think you were wrong when you claimed you do not see him as a son." Tessa said, "I think you were disappointed in him. And I know that a parent's disappointment affects one far more then their anger." She said, "I also know the immense pressure you must be under."

"How do you do that?" He asked, "How do you know exactly what to say? Martha's the same, what is it with women,"

"It is our experiences as women that allow us to know exactly what to say, when to say it, and how to say it." She explained, "Now, if you excuse me, there is someone with whom I wish to speak."

"He likes you, you know." Washington said, "Quite fancies you really."

"I quite fancy him as well." She said, trying to hide her smile, "But don't tell him that."

Little searching was required, to find Benjamin in his tent, clearly thinking over the words that had just been exchanged. He was sitting down on his cot when she entered, looking up at her in surprise as she neared him.

"Washington didn't mean what he said," Tessa told him, laying her hand on his shoulder, "I dare say it had something to do with words shared between him and General Arnold."

"What did they say?"

"Arnold, out of his own pain, made a comment about George's lack of sons." She explained, "Personally, I believe that his anger towards you was partly due to the fact that he does view you as a sort of son." She said, "And I know you see him as a father figure."

"I thought I was doing the right thing." He said, "I thought, that if I could single out the traitors, then they could be dealt with."

"But to deal with them would be to admit dissension within our ranks, something the British would surely use against us." She said, taking the seat beside him, "Unity is our fortress, and we cannot show any cracks. Not to our enemies, or our allies."

"I wish I had spoken with you before all of this." He lamented, reaching out to clutch her hand sitting in her lap, "You could have shared this wisdom, and I would have avoided angering Washington."

"Yes, you should come to me with more of your worries," she agreed, laying her hand on the side of his face, "I don't like it when you're troubled, and where possible, I want to ease you of your concerns."

"Well, I thank you for your consideration." Benjamin said, "How did you find out what Arnold said?" He asked, "I'm beginning to think you're a better spy than me."

"Arnold told me when I went to visit him," she explained, "I find, that to report the news, you must first know it."

"Huh," Benjamin chuffed, "You never cease to impress me."

"Really?" She asked, "Well, you're not completely unimpressive."

"You just can't compliment me, can you?"

"Yes I can." She retorted, looking around the room as she thought, playfully shoving him when he gasped in mock hurt

"I think you are a very admirable man." Tessa said, leaning her head closer to his, "And I do certainly admire you."

Cupping her face in his hands, Benjamin pulled her closer, pressing his lips to hers. It was a quick kiss, no nearly as hurried nor passionate as their first. And once it was finished, she laid her forehead against his.

"I think I'm falling for you," she whispered, "Major."


	6. Chapter 6

_November 1777_

Tessa was very much begrudged at being summoned just as she was readying for bed, but did enjoy Benjamin's flushed face at the sight of her in her night clothes. He would not tell her the meaning of the meeting, and rather sheepishly avoided her eyes as he lead her towards the main tent.

"Miss Perez, I apologize for the urgency," Washington greeted, picking up a piece of paper, handing it to her, "But this is of the upmost importance."

After scanning her eyes over the document, they widened as she looked up at him, "Is this true?"

"The British are bankrupt." Washington confirmed, "Now, this is a copy, the authentic one has already been sent off to the French,"

"And you want me to publish it to raise American morale, and lower British morale." She finished, "I was going back to Albany anyway, I'll leave tomorrow instead."

"Much appreciated."

"Anything to help sir."

The group was dismissed, off to complete their various tasks. Benjamin and her walked arm in arm back to her cabin. The snow falling around them made their goodbye all the more romantic.

"If you want, you're perfectly welcome to join me in Albany for Christmas." She offered, holding her hands in his, "I'm sure that my family would love to meet you."

"The prospect is both exciting, and terrifying."

"They'll love you." She assured him, "My sister already feel like she knows you, from how much I've talked about you."

"You've told her about me?"

"Don't act so surprised, I could hardly keep you a secret." She said, "Now go, I need my beauty sleep."

"You could never sleep and you would still be beautiful." He told her, pressing a kiss to her forehead

"I would also be dead." She retorted, pushing him away to open the door, "Goodbye Benjamin."

* * *

She awoke to tragedy the next morning. Stepping out of her cabin, she grabbed onto one of the soldiers, ordering him to tell her what all the commotion was about.

"Someone was murdered."

"Who?" She demanded, clutching his arm, "Who?"

"Sackett." He replied, "Someone named Sackett."

Shoving him aside, she hitched up her skirts as bolted past the tents. Coming up to Sackett's caravan, she slowed down, her chest heaving with anxiety. The sides of the tent were rolled up, revealing Washington sitting on a chair next to the bloodstained floor.

"Sir," she whispered, stepping closer to crouch in front of him, "How did this happen?"

"A spy killed him, to steal information," Washington said, "Major Tallmadge warned me against trusting him, and I didn't listen," he said, "I was so sure I was right."

"You cannot blame yourself." She said, setting a hand on his shoulder

"But it is my fault."

No words from her would ease his guilt, so she didn't bother saying anything more. Besides, there was someone else that was in greater need of her comfort. Just as she had done a less than month prior, she found in sitting on his cot in his tent.

"Benjamin," she called out in barely a whisper, stepping inside the room, shutting the door behind her, "Washington told me about Sackett," she said, moving closer to him, reaching out her hand to set it on his shoulder, "I am so sorry."

He did not reply, his eyes remaining glued to the floor, his hands gripping the bottle. Taking the glass from his hands, she set it on the table, taking the seat beside him. Reaching her arm around his back to place it on his neck, her other hand cupping his cheek.

"What do you want me to say?" She asked, leaning her forehead against the side of his head, "What do you need me to do?"

"If Washington had just let me do my job," Benjamin said, "Then Sackett would still be alive."

"What if is a dangerous game to play, and I beg you not to engage in it." Tessa warned, "I admit, I do not know grief in the way that you must, so I do not know how to comfort you," she said, "But I will remain by your side as long as you need me."

"I always need you." He whispered, his lips pressing kisses to from her temple down her cheek

Knowing exactly where this would lead them if she allowed the current chain of events to continue, she gently pushed his chest back.

"Talk to me," Tessa whispered, to which he only hm'med in acknowledgement, "Tell me about Sackett."

"You knew him." Benjamin pointed out, "What else do you want to know?"

"No two people know the same person in the same manner." She replied, "So tell me."

She didn't know if it was a wise request, but it did serve to lift his spirits, even if for only a short amount of time. He recalled many a story of his time with Sackett, and she listened to each one intently, responding when necessary. This was all he needed from her. Company and comfort.

"When are you leaving?" Benjamin asked, "I suppose you still need to deliver the report to your father."

"I suppose I do." Tessa said, dejectedly, "You, could always come with me," she offered, "It might do you some good to get away for awhile, my family would be welcome to have you."

"I can't just run away,"

"It wouldn't be cowardly," she said, "It would be completely understandable."

"Now is not the time for a holiday." Benjamin chided, pushing himself up, "I'm needed here now more than ever. I have to stay, and finish what Sackett started."

"Of course, I just, I thought you may want to take some time to grieve, away from all of this," Tessa said, fiddling with her fingers in her lap, "I just wanted to help you."

"I know that." He admitted, crouching down in front of her, reaching out to grasp her hands, "I should not have yelled at you. I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to apologize for," she assured him, "Your anger is perfectly understandable."

"But I should not take it out on you." Benjamin replied, "All you have tried to do is help me, and for that I am grateful." He said, "I don't know what I will do when we're apart."

"You'll have to be satisfied by my letters." She said, "Though I know I will miss you terribly."

"As will I."


	7. Chapter 7

_January 1778_

Christmas came and went, and no matter how much she enjoyed being with her family, Tessa found herself longing to be back at camp. There she was of some use, instead of sitting around doing nothing and pretending to not be itching to leave. Of course, a certain someone did factor into this desire.

Despite the fairly consistent flow of letters between them, she was still preoccupied with thoughts of him. Distance only caused her concern for him to grow, and she wanted nothing more than to be by his side, to assist him in all of his endeavours.

The letters did have the side effect of causing questioning within her family. Particularly from her parents, Ana already been aware of the situation, and Antonio and Catalina not noticing, far too preoccupied with their own families.

Now her mother and her sat by the fire alone, and it wasn't long before Maria broached the subject. Just as Tessa knew she would.

"You speak highly, and fondly of this man," Maria said, "But I have to ask, what about Alexander?"

"Things between us have been over for some time," Tessa said, "I'm afraid I don't see how he factors into this equation."

"Because you loved him, and I think you still do." Maria said, "I know you still write him, is this Major aware of this?"

"No, I have not told Benjamin." Tessa admitted, "But the content and tone is one of friendship. I have made it quite clear to Alexander that I no longer feel for him as I once did."

It was a lie, and they both knew it. Her feelings for Alexander were yet to subside, though had decreased in intensity, and she doubted that ever completely would. Of course, that was not to say that this somehow lessened her feelings for Benjamin, rather, they had only seemed to have deepened. And now she questioned whether one could really love two people? Because that was certainly what was occurring.

"You care for both of these men," Maria said, "Why is it that you choose Benjamin?"

"I know him to be an honest, and loyal man, whom I would trust to be a devoted husband." Tessa explained, "I cannot say the same for Alexander. And do not try to defend him, because I know you think the same."

"I just want you to be happy." Maria said, reaching out to clutch her hand, "I don't what you to choose good sense over depth of feeling, and find out in a few years that you cannot feel the same way for Benjamin." She explained, "It would be terrible for you, and unfair to him."

"I know, mother." Tessa nodded, "And I do feel the same for Benjamin, our time apart has only proved that to me. It is a different love, but no less present." She explained, "What do I do?"

She loathed the pleading tone to her words. It was like she was a child once more, begging for her mother's instruction. And she supposed she was, in some manner, requiring the wisdom of another.

"I think that you were right in your assumptions of Alexander, and the same of Benjamin, from what you have told me," Maria said, "If you truly feel the same for both men, than I agree that Benjamin will be the better husband."

The arrival of his next letter that very moment seemed to her to be some sort of sign, declaring the correctness of her decision. At the very least, it affirmed to her that her feelings for him were quite genuine.

 _Dear Tessa,_

 _I have unfortunate news that I wish to share with you, though the exact details cannot be made known to others. Culper has been arrested in New York, and due to my inability to control my assets, Washington has removed me as head of intelligence. I am being reassigned to Boston, to asses their military strength._

 _However, Caleb and I have a plan to get Culper free. I cannot divulge it here, and ask that you wait until we meet again for me to explain it to you. Your absence is being felt dearly, and I think even Washington misses your advice sometimes. I am sure that we can maintain correspondence whilst I am in Boston, and eagerly await your response._

 _Fondly,_

 _Benjamin_

If the purpose of the letter was to dissuade her interest out of his own selfless nature, then it had failed entirely. Instead, it only strengthened her commitment to him. No matter what his station may be, she wanted him. And she had the tendency to get what she wanted.

 _Dear Benjamin,_

 _That certainly is unfortunate news, and I want you to know that I pray for Culper's release and safe return. Do not disparage yourself too much, for I fear that Washington is at least partly driven by his projection of his own guilt for Sackett's untimely death onto you. Whatever this plan is I trust that it will successfully come to fruition, and eagerly await hearing about it._

 _I certainly agree that we can maintain correspondence, but I do not think I can go on for too much longer without seeing you again. As such, if circumstance permits it, I will pay a visit to my extended family in Boston. At least then we can be together again._

 _With much love,_

 _Tessa_


	8. Chapter 8

_March 1778_

The snow had stopped falling earlier that morning, allowing the carriage to make it's way down the road. It wasn't her first time in Boston, but it had been years. Thus, looking out the window did nothing to ease her trepidation, as she had no idea if they were getting closer to the military base or not.

"You must stop tapping." Richard told her, nodding towards her finger fidgeting against her knee

"Sorry father," she muttered, "I'm just, nervous, is all."

"You, nervous." He scoffed, "From what your mother has told me from his letters, this boy seems very taken with you."

"And that is why you insisted on accompanying me." Tessa said, "Propriety was just a cover for you to scope out my suitor."

"It is a father's duty to judge the prospective husbands of their daughters."

"He has not proposed marriage," she pointed out, "He has not even told me he loved me."

"Believe me, he does." Richard said, "He wouldn't have insisted you not come otherwise." He explained, causing her to frown, "He is a man, proud like any other, and he doesn't want you to see him doing a job he views to be a demotion."

"I hadn't thought of it like that."

The confidence of her father gave her some in turn. She was sure that Richard would like Benjamin, he had already said as much, but that was based off of her stories. Even so, Richard had never met Alexander, and this would be the first man she'd being introducing to him. Her anxieties were to be expected.

Her heart did not stop loudly thumping away as they waited in the drawing room of the base's main house. And it only quickened, when Benjamin stepped into the room, his eyes wide with shock.

"Tessa," he greeted, "What are you doing here?"

"I know you said not to come, but I had to." Tessa replied, restraining herself from gleefully jumping into his arms as she wished to, "It has been far too long since we last saw one another, and I saw this as an opportunity."

"Of course," he nodded, his eyes flicking to the other person in the room, "And, who did you bring with you?"

"Richard Alcott," her father introduced, stepping towards them with his hand out, "Her father."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, sir," Benjamin said, eagerly shaking his outstretched hand, "Your daughter's told me so much about you."

"And she has spoken of you endlessly." Richard replied, causing her to glare at him, "But I would very much like to hear about you from you." He said, "Tessa told me that you're from Setauket. What it's like there?"

"Small farming town really," Benjamin shrugged, "My father was the Reverend there."

"And you're a Yale man, yes?" Richard asked, and Benjamin nodded in confirmation, "What did you do after you graduated?"

"I was a teacher, sir," Benjamin said, "I joined the army in July 1776."

"And you have reached the rank of Major in only two years, that is certainly impressive." Richard said, "Also the head of intelligence I hear. Though, that one of course, is rather secretive."

Benjamin's eyes shot towards her, thrown off momentarily by her father's frankness. Admittedly, she too was unsure about her father's intentions. Especially considering she had specifically warned him against broaching the subject of spying, claiming the sanctity of the war effort.

"I am no longer head of intelligence, sir." Benjamin said, his eyes downcast

"He knows that." Tessa said, gritting her teeth at her father's antics, "He was testing your honesty."

"And you passed with flying colours." Richard congratulated, patting Benjamin on the arm, "Now, if you excuse me, I must see to business." He announced, the three of them moving towards the door, "I will send the carriage back for you this'afternoon," he said, turning his head to Benjamin, "I do hope you will join us for dinner."

"It would be my honour, sir."

As she waved her father off, she took the moment to slip her fingers into Benjamin's, squeezing his hand.

"Grab your coat," she instructed, "I want you to show me around."

Immediately he appeased her request, stepping out with her into the cold. As soon as they started out on the path, she once again intertwined their now gloved hands, using her other hand to grip his arm.

"I thought you said that propriety was to be respected." He teased, grinning down at her

"Nobody here knows my face," Tessa pointed out, "And if anyone questions us, we'll say we're a married couple." She suggested, a gleeful look on her face, "We can come up with fake names, and backgrounds. We'll be like real spies."

"Oh, you are devious." Benjamin said, chuckling at her, "Alright, Mrs Smith, what is our background."

"Okay, um, we're from Long Island," Tessa said, "Our parents didn't support our union, so we ran away to wed in secret." She explained, "And you joined the army to provide for your wife."

"And have we spoken to our family since?"

"Our mothers have written, but our fathers are stubborn." She said, "You hope that after the war we can return, and be accepted by our families."

"That is certainly an extensive and impressive lie." Benjamin commended, "Perhaps I should have inducted you into the ring."

"But I do not think I could have allowed you to take such a dangerous risk." He admitted, looking down at her, "I don't know how I would live with myself if something were to happen to you."

"I share that sentiment," she replied, "Though, I think that my fear is of greater precedent given the current state of things."

"It is unfortunately true."

"If I had my way, we would not have to spend another day apart." Tessa said, "But even in normal circumstances that is not guaranteed, though I cannot say I do not sorely wish for it to be so."

"I must admit, that every day we were apart, I thought only of us being together again." She continued, "And when we were reunited, I wanted nothing than to jump into your arms, and would have had my father not been there."

"I will admit I wanted all of those things too." Benjamin said, sheepishly, "A part of me wonders if I would have been demoted had I had you by my side to advise me."

"You do me too many honours."

"Oh no, I don't think I do you enough." He disagreed, bringing his hand up to stroke his fingers on her cheek, "You are by far the best thing in my life."

The look in his eyes was unmistakable. She'd seen it between her parents. Between her siblings and their spouses. To call it love would be far too simple. Adoration. Devotion. Something far more than a schoolyard romance.

And staring into his eyes made her realize something. The feeling was reciprocated.

"Benjamin," she whispered, reaching up to clutch onto his coat, "I love you."

That moment between them seemed to last forever, as her breath held in her chest, pounding faster with every second of his silence. Immediately she regretted her words, wanting to snatch them from the air and return them to her mouth. But once something was said, it could not be unsaid. All one could do was deal with the consequences.

"Do you really mean it?" He asked, just as unsure as she was

"Yes." She nodded fervently, "Do you feel the same?"

"Very much so, for awhile now." He admitted, "I was just too cowardly to say it."

"Don't you ever be cowardly with me, Benjamin Tallmadge." Tessa warned, "Not to the woman you love."

Saying that delighted her. It was different then when Alexander had declared his love for her. It too had delighted, being the first time anyone had admitted to having such ardent and genuine romantic feelings for her. But from that time onwards, it was as if she was waiting for the time that he would rescind the declaration. Constantly on the lookout for any threats to his love. Paranoia had overtaken her, and it was immensely unpleasant, being racked by thoughts of your lover deserting you.

Not once had those thoughts ever crossed her mind with Benjamin.

They returned to the base, spending the rest of time in his residence. He was reading through military correspondence, with her assisting on his replies. Once this was completed, they simply sat and talked.

"Forgive me, sir," she said, "But I don't believe you have told me of your and Caleb's plan for Culper."

"Caleb was to find a way into New York, free Culper, and find a way out." Benjamin explained, "I haven't heard a word of whether or not they were successful."

"No word is better than bad news." She pointed out, "I am sure that you will hear of Culper's freedom soon."

When the carriage arrived, she would have been dissapointed had he not been joining her. Never before had they spent this much unadulterated time together. He had always had some duty that needed attention, or she was being called away.

Any doubts about her father's view on Benjamin were dashed that night. They all talked and laughed well into the night, her father treating him like he would a friend, a son even. The hurdle, however imagined, of her father's approval had successfully been jumped, and she was sure that the rest of her family would come to love Benjamin just as she did.

"I quite like this boy," Richard told her, once Benjamin had left, "You have definitely chosen well for yourself."

"So, you approve?"

"My darling, I would approve of any man that made you happy, and he quite obviously does." Richard replied, "My personal like of him is merely a bonus."


End file.
